As a therapist whose practice focuses on helping people with sexual issues, I can tell you the majority of individuals who contact me for help are men. And over the years, most of these men have suffered from premature ejaculation (PE). While there can be different things that cause PE, the usual culprit is performance anxiety.
When it comes to performance anxiety in men, there are a few common causes:
Pornography is rampant in our society and it has given many people, both men and women, unrealistic expectations for their own sex lives. Many men feel if they can’t attain and sustain an erection for a long period of time, like the men in porn, they will disappoint their partner.
Performance anxiety can also come about because of stressors like financial difficulties and pressure at work.
Changes in the Relationship
More often than not, the men I counsel have suffered performance anxiety because their feelings about their partner have changed. Sometimes, men have trouble performing because they find themselves falling in love with their partner, and sometimes men have trouble performing when they find themselves falling out of love with their partner. Yes, men’s emotions effect their sex life!
We have all been led to believe that men are hardwired completely differently than women. And while there are obvious differences, the truth is, men aren’t able to get an erection whenever, with whomever, no matter the situation.
How Sex Therapy Can Help
The good news is, often a man’s penis acts as a barometer for his mental and emotional health. If you are suffering from performance anxiety, there’s a very good chance you are dealing with some other stress or struggle in your life.
Sex therapy provides men with a non-judgmental space in which to explore their life and relationships. A good sex therapist can take a situation that may feel awkward and turn it into a great experience where you can deal with whatever underlying issues may be going on so you can have the best sex of your life.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.